How You May Be Keeping Yourself Stuck and What to Do About It

Updated: Jul 14, 2021

If you feel like you are in a rut, or things are not happening the way you want despite your efforts, you might be keeping yourself stuck without even realizing it. Here are 5 ways you may be keeping yourself stuck and what to do about it.


You’ve probably heard the saying “What you resists persists.” What are you resisting? Resistance requires a lot of energy that can be used for other things. It will also wear you out until eventually you either surrender or it manifests as illness, relationship difficulties, financial difficulties, etc. What if resistance is a gift? Not something to fear or a sign that something is “wrong” with you but a blessing?

The Desire to Control

The desire to control is ultimately a way to try and protect yourself from what you fear. It can show up as trying to manipulate people to get what you want (which is still protecting yourself from what you don’t want). It may be a bunch of requirements you feel need to be met before you are willing to do or try something. This is very common and often you may be unaware your requirements are actually limitations. By comparing your fears and the conflicts in your relationships you can get clearer on how they are connected and how you might be controlling with others. To get clear on “requirements” you have put on situations it is often helpful to ask for the perspective of others you know and trust. Pay special attention to where you feel resistance or reactivity to what they have to say.

Believing You Already Know the Answers and Options

Need money immediately, but your paycheck is not for another week? You have nobody to ask to loan you the funds and cannot think of any other options so you conclude it is not possible. Do you believe that the type of illness you have is genetic and you are stuck with it for the rest of your life? Think all the good men/women are already taken? These are just a few examples of how you limit yourself with your beliefs of what is possible. However, if you can be willing and open to not having all the answers, it creates space for something new.

Incomplete Forgiveness

Take a look at the behaviors of the people who hurt you. Think of each person and what they did (or did not do). If you look closely, you will likely notice similarities in what the people did and how you felt inside about yourself as a result. Forgiving the person is only half of the healing process. It is like the flower on a plant. Addressing how you felt /feel about yourself is the root.

Your Stories

Everything you think and believe about yourself, about others and about life are just thoughts and beliefs. Who you actually are, who others are and what life is, has nothing to do with your thoughts and beliefs. These are stories not the actual thing itself. With this awareness, you can choose to experience beyond the stories or to choose stories that work for you…and to change the stories as needed rather than get mired down in them when they don’t work.

As you work through these 5 ways you keep yourself stuck, you will be opening yourself to change, flow, and greater ease. Think about your life and how it would feel to have change, flow and ease. If you feel any fear or sense tension or construction, go back through this article and apply the information until you feel comfortable and ready to move forward.

If you would like more assistance in becoming unstuck, or would like to address more ways you may be keeping yourself stuck, I offer “Becoming Delightfully Unstuck,” a 21 day process of guided meditation and healing mp3s. Each mp3 packs a lot of transformation into just a few minutes each day! Designed to fit into even the busiest of schedules, they can even be played with the volume turned off while you are relaxing, sleeping, meditating or going about your daily activities (except while driving or doing activities where focus is required for safety). Once through the program you can use it again and again to keep your life flowing as it is meant to be.

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